Captain Jack's Journal
by Weiryn's Daughter
Summary: The Journal Of Captain Jack Sparrow- Co-written by Wieryn's daughter and Alori Kesi Aldercy- A intriguing story that will keep you coming back for more. (Sorry- not very good at summaries)Also there is a revamped one that Alori is doing-
1. Days 1, 2, 3

_Alori: _Hi peeps! Welcome to Captain Jack's Journal! Say hello to my co-authoress and good friend, Weiryn's Daughter! We'll just call her Weiryn. hi Weiryn

_Weiryn: _Hello!

_Alori: _Now for the disclaimer. DISCLAIMER: We do not own PotC. We would like to, but we don't. The only reason we're even admitting to not owning it is because the REAL owners would sue and torment us until we paid heavy fines. That wouldn't be very much fun. That's it for the disclaimer!

_Weiryn: _Warning- THIS STORY IS ADDICTIVE! DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE HEART PROBLEMS- JUST KIDDING

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**Day 1**

Ello' matey! Listen luv', I can't talk right now because I'm busy ransacking a town near Port Royal. (In fact I went and visited Will and Elizabeth on my way here.) I'm hopin' Commodore Norrington doesn't get word of my little pillage until me and the Black Pearl are long gone. Anamaria and Mr. Cotton refuse to talk to me lately. I will say that it's not much of a surprise when it comes to Mr. Cotton. I fear they're plannin' somethin' against me. Well, I'll talk to ye later when I get back to Tortuga with me plunder. Bye!

**Day 2**

Don't have much time for talk this time. Mainly, because I'm in the process of runnin' from Commodore Norrington's British fleet. You see, luv', I was forced to kidnap a young girl to escape from the clutches of the British military. So now she's aboard MY ship bawling her bloody head off saying 'How awful! Oh, this is the most dreadful day of my life! Captured by pirates! Oh, how perfectly awful!' Meanwhile, I'm sittin' here trying to save me own skin and all she wants to do is cry. Maybe Anamaria can talk some sense into her. Except that SHE won't talk to me either! Perfect. Here comes the Commodore's ship, I 'ave to prepare for battle. Bye, luv'.

**Day 3**

'Ello, luv'. Got a nice surprise today. Anamaria and Mr. Cotton 'ave finally revealed they're secret. They were plannin' me a surprise party for me birthday! Anyway, the whole thing occurred shortly after we escaped from the Commodore. We had warned him we'd shoot the girl if he fought us, so he let us go. This time. Well, now the girl we kidnapped thinks we're gonna' kill her. I don't know how she could think that when we've just had a party where she 'ad some fun. I also don't know when she's gonna be able to get off me ship since there won't be any British ports for the next few months, just Spanish ones. I don't know her name either. Bye, luv'.

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_Weiryn-_Thanks for reading- now is the time for reviewing (Your lucky it is me- Alori is a stickler for making people review)


	2. Days 4, 5, 6

_Alori:_ Hello again! And welcome back to Captain Jack's Journal! For those of you just joining us, I'd just like to say.....WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?????

_Weiryn:_ I still have not gotten enough reviews for me to be happy- hey wait- I said that Alori was the stickler for reviews- AHHHHH it is contagious!

Disclaimer- We do not own Pirates of the Carribean or any of their characters- we wish we did; because then we would be rich!

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**Day 4**

Well, the girl just about killed herself today. We were trying to fix a nasty injury she 'ad, and when I say we, I mean me and Anamaria. When, suddenly, she went crazy saying that we were going to kill 'er. I don't know what got into 'er, we were only holding a little needle and thread, but she jumped overboard THEN remembered she couldn't swim. I 'ad to jump over and save the poor luv. I must say, she was pretty cute when she was passed out on deck. Anamaria said that at least she could stitch up the girl's wound without the fuss. She's now lying on MY bed in MY room, asleep. Anamaria says that I'm not trustworthy enough to sleep in my own room while she's in there, but where else am I goin' to sleep, luv? Oh, well. I guess I'll just 'ave to sleep in the crow's nest. 'Ave a nice day, I know I'm not.

**Day 5**

We sent the ransom notice for the girl to Commodore Norrington today. I 'ave a feelin' we'll be gettin' the full amount. We want 2,000 pounds for 'er. Oh, by the way, I finally got 'er name out of 'er. She says it's Mara Jane McArthur. Pretty name, I think, for the luv'. We're goin' to stop off in Tortuga to restock. I can't wait to get there. . .I really need some more rum. I'll tell you if anythin' INTERESTIN' happens. I hope somethin' does.

**Day 6**

I don't know why Mr. Sparrow keeps a journal, but since he has taken mine, there is a very interesting story I plan to tell you about that, I am forced to write in his, which I have conveniently taken while I am in his room. So, why does Mr. Sparrow have my diary? Well, I was writing in it, telling all about my horrid life aboard this ship, and he found me. He must have thought it was funny and took it out of my hands. He began teasing me with it and I became so frustrated I ran off to his room. He followed me and I shut it in his face and locked it. So, here I am, reading and writing in his Journal, with him unable to stop me. Fair punishment, I think, for someone who has stolen a girl's diary.

_Later that day..._

I've been in Mr. Sparrow's room for awhile now, and I've read quite a bit of his journal. All of it, in fact. I can't believe the only reason he kidnapped me was to get money! How rude! Here I was, thinking he had thought me as pretty or something and- Never mind. I won't finish what I was going to say. I've been doing too much daydreaming about that horrid Sparrow, I should think about something else, but how can I when he sits outside the door begging me to open it, wailing like a lonely puppy? I have him at my mercy, and I like it. It's not ladylike, but it's fun, I'll admit. Uh, oh, I think he's decided on brute force, the door sounds like someone is trying to break it down. I'd better go, he's almost got it open.

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_Alori:_ Well, there you have it! Another decent installation! How did you like it?? Pretty good....Not my best work...To be sure.....**x**dodges thrown food**x** Okaaaaay.....I didn't think it was THAT bad.....Ummmmm......You can take over Weiryn.....The readers don't like me very much....I guess they have something against sticklers......Wait! Let me just say...... REVIEW!!!

_Weiryn:_ I hope they don't have anything against sticklers- Now please make me happy and review! I am sad to say that Alori and I have been the only one to review (and it was our own work we were reviewing) Please review- We like constructive criticism. Tell us what you think- OR ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	3. Days 7, 8, 9

_Alori: Wow!! We got 2 reviews!!!! YAY!!!!! What can I say, the second chapter was brilliant! Heh heh....I should watch my head's weight...It's getting a little big...Okay, so, I hear that you all liked Mara stealing Jack's journal, well, I thought that was pretty funny too! (It was MY idea, and I wrote it!) These next two chapters are what I'd call the Tortuga Escapades! But, for simplistic sake, we're just calling it "Days 7,8,9" and "Days 10,11(well sort of), 12"_

_Weiryn's Daughter: (to Alori- yes you wrote it but with my brilliant ideas- turns back to reader) Yes, we are very happy that we got some reviews. In response to one of them, Alori is revamping the story and posting it under her. Make sure you watch out for that! However, we will leave this story up, and finsh posting it so that you can read the orginal and the modified one! Oh yeah the Disclaimer- WE WISHED WE OWNED PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN BUT WE DO NOT!_

_Shout Outs-_

_Mepb- thanks so much for reviewing_

_Lashandra- Thank you for your idea; as you can see above we have taken it into consideration!_

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**Day 7**

I finally have gotten my Journal back from Mara. That little luv' needs a lesson in manners. . .Then again, maybe I'm the one who needs some. . .What am I saying? I'm Captain Jack Sparrow! I don't need manners! Anyway, I think I scared her enough that she won't take my things or commandeer my room. Do you know what I did to her? Well, after I broke the door down, I took my journal from her and said the very words that sent shivers down Elizabeth's spine when Barbossa said them. I told her that she was 'taking an awful big advantage of our hospitality' and that pretty soon I'd be asking her to 'return the favor'. She thought I said one thing when all I meant was she'd better be good or I'd make her clean the ship. I've got her all fixed up, she's not going to do anything bad anymore. At least stuff like pilfering my journal.

**Day 8**

We finally reached Tortuga! The greatest town on this whole planet! You can visit every port town you come to and you'll never find one that has the sweet nectar Tortuga gives you. None will give you as much rum either. After we docked, Mara asked if she could come ashore with us. I told her no. She pouted when I told her that, but I think she finally came 'round. She left me cabin smilin' and happy. Even though I like to think this is true, most likely she's come up with some escape plan. So I'm havin' Mr. Cotton stay behind and watch Mara. He voiced no objections to my decision so.......Anyway, I'll talk ta you later after I've done some business here in Tortuga. Oh, and after I've gotten some rum.

**Day 9**

I'm too drunk to write mack. Wut did I jes say? I don now. May b I should sleap. Iv got a heodack the siz of me heod. Or iz that haed? Not sure. God night.

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_Alori: Soooo, did any of you need a translation for that last part? After all, it was French. No? Then here goes! "I'm too drunk to write much. What did I just say? I don't know. Maybe I should sleep. I've got a headache the size of my head. Or is that head? Not sure, Good night." It sounds better in French, that's for sure._

_Weiryn's Daughter: Thank you to all who reviewed- And to those who didn't we will stalk you down and-_

_Alori-Thank you again, and come back soon for the next chapter! Which we will not be posting until we get 5 reviews on this chapter!_


	4. Days 10, 11, 12

_Alori:_ Hey everyone! It's nice to see you back again! Rum ice cream to those who reviewed!!

_Weiryn:_ And that would be a lot of people. Well, two people who reviewed more than once. Thank you, if one of them was you!

_Alori: _Well, the first chapter of the revised Captain Jack's Journal is almost done! I can't wait to post it! Please continue to keep a look out for it!!

DISCLAIMER: We don't own Pirates of the Caribbean. All we own is Mara, this story plot, and ourselves!! It's not much, but we're happy.

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**Day 10**

Wow.....Too much rum does things to yeh.....I haven't been in this much pain since the last time someone shot me. Anyway, I think this hangover will disappear soon. In the meantime, I'll spend me time writing. A lot happened recently. When I last wrote, Mara was still on the Pearl. She's still here, but only after experiencing a bit of an adventure. I experienced it all through drunkenness, so if my recount isn't quite accurate I 'pologize. Here are the details:

As soon as we had left for Tortuga, Mara began to execute her plan, as stupid as it was it worked. She first went to Mr. Cotton and begged him to teach her to play cards. When he left the room to get the cards, she jumped out a window and swam to shore. Right off there was trouble. According to her recount of the happenings, a strange person, whom she couldn't see, knocked her back into the water when she tried to get out, then, jumped in after her and 'saved' her. He immediately asked her to do him a favor in return for 'saving her life'. When she refused, he hit her and stormed off. She was knocked out by the blow (She has a nasty wound now, thanks to that.) and collapsed onto the beach. When she awoke, a man was lying on top of her, passed out, we're guessing, from too much rum. That man, was me. I'm a bit ashamed of it now, but I thought she was another girl at the time. Anyway, she was too scared to be rational or even think anything all the way through, so she threw me off without first checking to see who I was and ran off, just as I was starting to wake up. I saw her running away and immediately decided to follow. Bloody bad mistake. Well, I'll have to write more later, the crew needs me.

**Day 11**

Can't talk. Sorry.

**Day 12**

You're probably wondering why day 11 is mostly empty....well, I was too tired to write anything...why? That, I'll explain.

After Mara ran off, I followed at a close, but safe, distance. She appeared to have tired, and sat erself down against a wall in a dark alley. I saw er wipe away a tear. Bloody girl made my heart wrench. I could tell she was shaken from her earlier encounter, poor luv'. I watched her set up a bed-like thing and lay down. (Making my heart wrench further. Bloody girl.) I couldn't just let her sleep there, though. I could tell there was bad weather coming, so, I waited until she was asleep, then picked her up and carried her back to the ship. I should've left her lying in the gutter. As soon as I put her on her bed she awoke and once she caught sight of me, began shrieking and carrying on like I was hurting her! What kind of gratitude is that for putting a roof over her head? I got out of that room ASAP, thoroughly angered by her outburst. As soon as I left, she slammed the door shut and locked it. No one could get in with out either braking down the bloody door, or climbing around the outside of the ship to the window. Nobody dared break the door because if they did they'd just have to work to repair it, and they wouldn't climb around to the window because most likely she'd just shut it in their face once they got there. I certainly wasn't going to have that happen. She'd have to open the door sometime to get food. I wasn't going to give her any unless she came to the galley to get it.

The next thing that happened nearly killed me. I'd be dead if it weren't for, I really don't like admitting this, Mara. Yes, Mara actually saved my life yesterday. After spending 24 hours locked in her room, she came out only when the boat was once again at sea, and the waves were tossing the boat around like a rag doll. If I'd been her I would've stayed where I was, but no, she wanted to come out to see what was the matter. A storm was what the matter was! Probably the strongest storm I've been in, in a VERY long while. Anyway, when she came out, she immediately headed to the helm to search for me, Gibbs was at the wheel so he told her to go back to her room. She just wouldn't listen. She stuck up that snooty little nose of hers and waltzed off to find me, she got off the last step to the deck just as a large wave rolled over the ship. She was flung back against the railing, pressed almost flat by the force of the wave. I caught sight of her while struggling with a loose halyard, that distraction nearly cost me my life. The halyard was torn from my hands and sent whipping through the air and got caught on a loose belay pin. The pin was pulled loose and flung against Gibbs, he lost hold of the wheel, and the ship subsequently turned sharply, due to wind and water pull, sending ME wobbling towards the railing. I almost toppled off into the water, but Mara ran and tackled me to the ground, so instead of falling over the railing I rolled up against it. I don't know where that running tackle came from, but I'm grateful it came to her mind to do it, otherwise I'd be rolling limp at the bottom of Davy Jones's Locker.

The storm is over now, and Mara is in her cabin crying over the shock of almost having seen someone die. She won't let me in and she refuses to come out. I'll have to try to coax her out later. I've ship fixing business to attend to currently.

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_Alori:_ Soooo, how was it??? Good?? It should be getting more exciting!! The next chappie is gonna be great!! Heh heh.....I AM THE EVIL AUTHORESS!!!! FEAR ME!!!! BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

_Weiryn:_ Thanks again to all of our beautiful reviewers. Now, if you would also like some rum ice cream I recommend that you review! Ok- Ok! Good!


	5. Days 13, 14, 15

_Alori: Whoa. . .We haven't updated in so long. . .I BLAME SCHOOL!!!!! So many authors have stopped updating. . .COME BACK!!! I WANT TO READ YOUR FICS!!! Umm. . .Anyway. . .I hope you enjoy!_

_Weiryn: And again- WE DON'T OWN PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN! WE TRUELY WISHED WE DID BUT WE DON'T!!!_

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**Day 13**

I hope nothing goes wrong today. A lot COULD go wrong, considering we've been forced to stop in Port Thomas to repair the ship. I jes hope the Commodore isn't on a business trip here and is still in Port Royal. We have a chance of getting out of here alive if he's not, but if he is, we could be in for a lot of trouble. Mara has become more unbearable than ever. She refuses to eat now unless she makes the food herself. I can't bloody figure out what's gotten into her. I jes hope I made the right decision in leaving her locked in my cabin with no one else on the ship, while the crew and I get supplies. If she escapes.....Good for her.....I doubt we were going to get our ransom anyway. So it doesn't matter. Wait, I hear something....Yelling....Write more later, a new problem has just arisen.

**Day 14**

Good God...What has my little Mara gotten herself into? What did I get her into....I should never have left her alone on the _Pearl_. She managed to get out the cabin I had locked her in and had gone out on deck. That was when I found out the Commodore WAS here, just like I had feared. He saw the _Pearl_ and stormed it. Not knowing Mara personally, he thinks she is a pirate, so took her into custody, then told his men to check for others. As soon as this all took place, with me watching from a tavern window, I ran off to gather the crew. It took me two hours to find everyone, then another hour to re-confiscate my ship and sail it out of sight behind a bluff. I've had to stab a lot of guards to get to this point, and I have yet to save Mara. Or rather...I'll leave her. She's already been saved....From pirates....By the Commodore. Why put her through more distress? She's probably already informed the Commodore she's a British citizen and is on her way home. I might as well leave her alone.

**Day 15**

I have very little time to talk. The Commodore moves very fast. He's already ordered Mara's hanging! Why he's going to hang a young girl who is part of the British colonies, I don't know. I would think he'd let Mara prove her innocence before hanging her....But he's just going forward with the hanging. I don't understand what's going on! All I know is I have to save her, even if it means putting my own life on the line. It's my fault she's where she is. I can't let her die.

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_Alori: Well, that's that. I hope it was exciting enough for you! Well, with the start of school, I've been forced to delay posting the revised version of Captain Jack's Journal. PLEASE BE PATIENT! I promise I'll get the first chapter up before October hits!_

_Weiryn: Thank you to all who waited for this chapter to come out. I am overwhelmed with homework. Now if you please, R & R!_


	6. Sorry

- Notes from the authors -

Hey All-

I am really sorry! I almost went 5 months without updating. I can't believe it! Me and Alori are working in finishing or almost finishing this story right now, so if you can hang in there a little bit longer . . .

If you could review and tell me that it is ok that I really screwed up or just say I suck, please do so. I would make me feel better to know that someone still is reading this story!

Also, the story posted below has nothing to do with the posred fanfiction. We decide to put up a little stroy, to entertain you while you wait

_-Wieryn_

Hello-

Definitely, I'm reaaaally sorry:apologizes madly:

BTW, because you are not allowed to post notes solely, here is a little short for you to enjoy!

Yay for shorts!

_Alori_

**Hooray for Winnie-the-Jack!**

A story loosely based on the style and effect that was used for the Winnie-the-Pooh books by, A. A. Milne.

One day, as Winnie-the-Jack walked along the beach, he tripped upon a little rock.

"Oh, curse! A silly little rock has tripped me!" He cried angrily. "I think I shall kick it."

And "kick it", he did. He got up, and walked even faster than before. Kicking up his speed from one mile an hour, to three.

"Ha! That should show that stupid rock! I'm kicking it very hard." He jogged on for a bit, then slowed down. "Surely that rock must be dead by now, I have kicked it enough." He looked down, and immediately saw a pebble. Though, it was not the same stone, having left the other one a half mile back, Jack was too drunk to know the difference. "There it is. I have kicked it enough that it is half the size it used to be. Ha! Stupid rock!"

Jack walked away from the rock, satisfied with himself. _"Certainly, that rock will trip no other poor person, now that I have taught it a lesson."_ He thought happily to himself.

But Jack quickly changed his mind. What if the rock got better and felt cocky because it had lived? Then it could quite possibly go back to being rude and mean and tripping poor people walking innocently along the beach. Then again, to punish it any more when it had possibly already learned it's lesson well enough, was cruel. And Jack did not like to be a cruel pirate. He sat upon the sand, unsure what to do, and pulled a canteen of rum from his pocket. "All of this walking has made me very thirsty." He tipped the canteen up and opened his mouth, but because he was already quite drunk, he aimed incorrectly and the rum spilled onto his legs. "Oh, &!# … I spilled all of me rum! &$# $# stupid #&! for a $#! I hate those )($ silly $#( …" _(And so on he swore. Though, he said little more than "darn" or "crud", the author of this diddy felt it was very crude anyhow, and blanked it out. Just so she could be sure to keep the rating.)_

But back to Jack.

Being rather thirsty still, Jack sat and pondered a way to find something decent to drink. He considered going up to the ocean and drinking that, but from experience he knew it to be rather salty. Jack, having cholesterol that was rather high, decided it was best to avoid that sort of refreshment. So, he returned to pondering.

He eventually came upon the thought to go back to a stream he had passed some time before, but he realized, just after standing and wiping the sand off of his aft vicinity, that walking took energy, and in the hot sun he would become more thirsty. And surely, since the stream was small, he would finish all the water that was there before ever becoming satisfied. Thus, came to an end the idea of drinking water from a stream. So, he sat back down and again proceeded to ponder.

That was when he thought up his next plan. "Well," Said Jack to himself, "Since I am thirsty, and all my rum is soaked into my pants, I shall take off my pants and chew the rum out." Which he proceeded to do by taking his cutlass from his belt and chopping off the legs of his pants. Once removed, he hacked the two parts into little strips, then into little pieces. He stuck the first in his mouth and chewed slowly, to test it. He found it quite good, despite the dirty crunch the rum had from his pants now, once finished with this first square, he leaned back and spit. The spit soaked ball went up a foot then came down on his leg. He chuckled at the splattering sound. Greatly pleased he chewed another, and spit it, then another, each time testing different ways for the chewed pant to be spit. Eventually he discovered that if he stood and spit straight upward and ran around in circles he could catch the balls of cloth on his forehead. This new game excited him. He played for quite some time, all the while humming a hum which went something like this:

_On one fine day I walked,_

_It was all alone that I walked,_

_I tripped on a rock as I walked,_

_Which made me mad as I walked,_

_I kicked the rock as I walked,_

_Which made it smaller as I walked,_

_Undecided if it was punished enough as I walked,_

_I sat down to ponder as I walked,_

_But I was thirsty as I walked,_

_So I had a drink as I walked,_

_But I spilled my rum as I walked,_

_And had to cut off my pants as I walked,_

_So I could chew the rum out as I walked,_

_Then I was wearing short shorts as I walked,_

_Which I began to like as I walked,_

_And I played a game as I walked,_

_Which was easy to do as I walked,_

_Because it was a game to be done as I walked…_

Rather liking how every sentence ended with "as I walked", he didn't wish to stop, but he could think of nothing more to hum about. So he continued playing his game in silence.

Round and around he spun, chewing and spitting, and getting more dizzy and drunk by the second. A pair of things which should not be gotten at the same time, especially on a rocky shore, by a pirate who has been in the sun for too long. He eventually tripped again, not on a rock, but on his own two drunken feet, and fell panting to the ground, his nose grazing a boulder. He mistook this stone for the first, as he had done the pebble.

"Oh!" Jack cried in distress. "It's you again, rock. You've gotten better haven't you? You're bigger than you were to start with! No wonder you're so cocky and have gone and tripped me again. You haven't at all learned your lesson like I had hoped you would." He fell silent for a moment. "And how is Mrs. Rock?" He said trying to be polite and remember his manners. After nodding slowly, he was silent for a time. "Ah." He said finally, to no point at all but to say 'ah'. "Since you haven't learned your lesson, Mr. Rock, I shall have to punish you further."

So, Jack heaved up the rock and rather clumsily tossed it into the waves, deciding that it was better to be SURE that the rock would hurt no one else. "Good bye, rock. I rather enjoyed beating you to a pebble then watching you grow big again. You've helped me a lot. You gave me ideas so I invented shorts today and wrote a little hum. Would you like to hear it, Mr. Rock?" There was no reply since the boulder had already been tossed to the waves and pounding surf. Rocks cannot really talk besides, so what is the point of it even trying?

Jack was rather sad that the rock apparently did not wish to hear his tune and he turned away, even when the tip of the boulder was still able to be seen. "Oh, dear, I do believe I have widowed some poor female rock now. I'd better find her and inform her of her late husband's passing. Then I'll apologize, so I feel better." He turned to the stone covered sand before him and raised both hands in the air to get their attention. "Whoever was married to one 'Mr. Rock', please step forward."

At that moment, there was a great earthquake which sent Jack flailing backward into the sand, and most of the rocks on that section of the beach moved towards or on top of him. "Why," Jack stood and dropped some rocks onto the sand. "I do believe all of these rocks are named rock. I shall never find the widow. I'll just have to go home."

And so, Winnie-the-Jack did. And all the way home he hummed his hum from before, enjoying the sand, sun, and surf. Not to mention, the rum chews he had invented.

And he knew that he, of all pirates, liked short shorts.

FIN.


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